I’m so glad to have Stacy Lyn Harris joining me again on the podcast for an honest conversation about what it’s like to run successful businesses while in the trenches of motherhood. What does it look like to bring our children along with us in our work? How do we manage to stay productive while meeting the needs of small children? How have our businesses changed throughout different seasons of our families? For any parent who is committed to giving your family your best and building a business you are proud of, may this vulnerable conversation be an encouragement to you.
In this episode, we cover:
- What it was like to start a business as a homeschooling mother of seven
- How to get your children involved in working together on your dreams
- Creating a culture in your home that motivates your children to help with the work
- Reevaluating your strategy as an entrepreneur through shifting seasons of motherhood
- Two important strategies for entrepreneurs to be more productive
- Knowing when and how to bring on extra help in your business
- Why it is so valuable to remember that your spouse is your first business partner
- Letting go of our schedules and expectations in order to embrace what life brings
Thank you to our sponsor!
Premier 1 Supplies is your one-stop shop for all things homesteading! Visit Premier1Supplies.com to browse their catalog.
About Stacy Lyn Harris
Southern lifestyle guru, television host, celebrity chef, best-selling author and speaker Stacy Lyn Harris wants her readers to pull up a chair, hear some funny and poignant stories, and incorporate her unfussy, delicious recipes into their special occasions and daily life. After all, like the title of her new cookbook states, food is the “Love Language of the South.”
“I don’t go to my home and kitchen expecting perfection,” Harris writes in “Love Language of the South.” “It’s simply the place I go to return to what matters most: my family, my faith, and spending my days at home in the South. Time I spend cooking is time spent loving. And that’s why I call it my love language.”
In addition to being a best-selling author of three books and host of “The Sporting Chef” on The Outdoor Channel, Harris is also the founder of the popular Stacy Lyn Harris blog. The Alabama native and mother of seven has grown a following with her simple approach to sourcing and preparing meals – often including wild game and ingredients from her garden.
With multiple cookbooks and cooking shows celebrating Southern charm, lifestyle and seasonal, fresh protein, Harris is just getting started bucking the ordinary. She’s showing the world that Southern culture is more than bless your hearts with a side of sweet tea. It’s also a family Sunday dinner of crispy fried chicken with a side of caramel cake so simple that even her newlywed self could execute it to perfection.
Resources Mentioned
Check out Stacy Lyn’s cookbooks
Connect
Stacy Lyn Harris | Website | Instagram | Facebook | Twitter | YouTube | Pinterest
Homesteaders of America | Website | Instagram | Facebook | YouTube | Pinterest
Entrepreneurship & Motherhood Transcript
Amy Fewell Welcome to the Homesteaders of America Podcast, where we encourage simple living, hard work, natural healthcare, real food, and building an agrarian society. If you’re pioneering your way through modern noise and conveniences, and you’re an advocate for living a more sustainable and quiet life, this podcast is for you. Welcome to this week’s podcast. I’m your host, Amy Fewell, and I’m the founder of the Homesteaders of America organization and annual events. If you’re not familiar with us, we are a resource for homesteading education and online support. And we even host a couple of in-person events each year with our biggest annual event happening right outside the nation’s capital here in Virginia every October. Check us out online at HomesteadersofAmerica.com. Follow us on all of our social media platforms and subscribe to our newsletter so that you can be the first to know about all things HOA (that’s short for Homesteaders of America). Don’t forget that we have an online membership that gives you access to thousands—yes, literally thousands—of hours worth of information and videos. It also gets you discount codes, an HOA decal sticker when you sign up, and access to event tickets before anyone else. All right. Let’s dive into this week’s episode.
Amy Fewell Welcome back to this week’s episode of the Homesteaders of America Podcast. I have my friend and HOA speaker, Stacy Lyn Harris with me again this week. Welcome to the podcast, Stacy.
Stacy Lyn Harris I am so excited to be here. I just love doing podcasts with you because it’s like talking to an old friend, you know? And it’s just so real. I love it.
Amy Fewell Yeah, and so funny story, Stacy and I, years ago when I first started HOA, Stacy and I would get on the phone and just talk and talk and talk and talk. We would talk about life, we would talk about homesteading, we’d talk about kids, and so that’s kind of what I want to do today. I want to bring, you know, some of that conversation into the podcast today where we are specifically just going to talk about life. We are both moms, we are both homesteaders, we are both successful and very busy entrepreneurs. And so I want to talk about that a little bit, because a lot of you out there… And I don’t think this is just for moms. Like, I think dads could probably find some nuggets in this too, but you know, the question I get most often is how do you do it all? You know, how do you do it all? And so when I was thinking about who to bring on the podcast for this, I thought about you because years ago, it’s so funny, you told me something that I laughed at and I was like, you know what? No other woman has ever said this to me. You told me, you were like, “I need sleep, and so I sleep until like 8:00 in the morning.” And then I’m thinking like, all these other moms are up at four and you’re telling me I can sleep till eight? So I thought you were the perfect person to bring on for this. So why don’t you kind of just give our listeners a rundown real quick on who you are. I know you’ve been on here before, but some people might be listening for the first time and then we’ll get started.
Stacy Lyn Harris I don’t even know where to begin. I’m not even sure today who I am. But I’m Stacy Lyn Harris, and I’m an author, blogger, TV host and, you know, entrepreneur, like what you were saying a few minutes ago. I have seven children and a husband and most of my kids… Gosh. So when we started talking, I was in the throes of homeschooling all of them. And now, I’m really just only homeschooling one and helping the other ones facilitate school, you know, college. And some of them are grown in and out, but, you know, that’s who I am. And I’m just excited to be here talking to you about real life today. That’s one of my favorite things. In fact, I was talking to my mom this morning and I said, “I want you to pray for me because I don’t want to be anyone other than who I am this morning.” I don’t want to pretend in any way. I want it to be totally raw and I want to encourage people. I do not want them leaving discouraged. So whatever that means, you know, that’s what my hope is today.
Amy Fewell I think it’ll be great. I have no doubt. That is my expectation. All right, so let’s get started. Tell me a little bit about your entrepreneur journey. How did you get started and where were you in regard to family? We started having kids, what did that look like for you?
Stacy Lyn Harris So I think I was still nursing my youngest child when I started this business. And so I had seven already. It was really kind of by accident that this business even started at all. But we were visiting a church in Tennessee and I was talking to this girl and I was saying, “Yeah, I thought about writing a book,” and she was like, “Well, you should do it.” And so I was like, “Maybe I really should.” And so I got in the car, and by the time I got home, I had, you know, the book outlined, already the first chapter pretty much going, and three months later I was completely finished with the book. So that’s kind of how things started. I did have a baby at the time. My oldest son was 15. So for 15 years, I helped my husband with his business, which helped me, you know, as I’m doing my business in a lot of ways. And so I helped him. He’s a dentist, and so I did the hiring, firing and all the personnel situations. And I really still hate it. I hated it then, I hate it now. But my son now is a dentist, and so he’s taken over those duties, which I’m thrilled with. And now I just get to, kind of behind the scenes, help. You know? And go, “Okay, well, this is what I would do in that situation.” Thankfully, I don’t have to do it, but I have to do it in my business.
Amy Fewell Right.
Stacy Lyn Harris But anyway, so 15 down to a newborn. And then I was homeschooling all of them, but I was able to take just, you know, I guess time blocking is a real big deal for me. So I was able to kind of time block and all of the kids… In that first book I wrote, you know, that was what started everything. I did not have a podcast. I did not have a blog. I did not have a social media page. I did not know how to email. Because I was only raising children. I just didn’t know, I didn’t care. And so it was a crash course for me to learn all things digital. You know, because I grew up… You’re younger than me. Wait, I don’t know, a good bit younger than me. But we didn’t grow up with cell phones. I had computers, but it wasn’t the internet, so to speak, you know, in college. So it was like a crash course for me. And you can do it. You can learn something new. You can start over if you need to. You know, you can reinvent yourself. You can do it even with seven children. And the thing you kind of touched on before we started talking was that I did have my kids involved. So, as soon as I would write a recipe (because the first book was strictly like a wild game and gardening cookbook), they would start cooking the recipes. So I would, you know, write it up, they would test it and clean the kitchen afterwards, you know, after me, And so I had all of the kids doing stuff. So it was part of their education. And all of my kids have taken what I’ve done and done something with it in their line of interest, you know, in college and all.
Amy Fewell Yeah, I remember, I guess it was the last time you were at the Homesteaders of America Conference during a Q&A panel, someone had asked the question about kids and business, and I loved your response because you said, “You know, you don’t have to not do business when you have kids. You basically hire your kids to do business with you. You know, somebody can be a photographer, somebody can, you know, help you write. Someone can lay out the table. There’s always someone who can do something.” And of course, they’re not going to know how to do it in the beginning, but it’s just something you teach them how to do along the way. It’s kind of like, you know, even just being in the kitchen as a mom, right? You always have somebody tugging at you wanting to follow along. So I can already hear all the moms especially saying, “Well, how do you do that?” You know, even with just one child, but especially seven, how do you train children to go to your business schedule? You know, so like, what did a typical business day look like for you, and how did you train your children to follow along and be cooperative in that?
Stacy Lyn Harris So, you know, since the oldest one was 15, from the time that they could stand, they were helping around the house. Like, you know, sorting the silverware or sorting their laundry or doing something. We were always doing something together, working together anyway, so it wasn’t very hard to get all of the kids on board because we still work together. Like, we have a piece of property and I have a garden here, I have a garden at the land, and then my son has a garden at his house. We all work all of those gardens. I mean, you know, it’s like we go to each other’s houses and we just kind of like to work together. And I think that if you can think of working together, like playing together, then you can wrap your mind around it. If you, you know, listen to certain music, listen to some kind of a podcast that all of you like, or… It starts when they are first walking because it’s just a way of life. This is not some magical, different kind of life. It’s just the way that we live and it’s just what you do. And so it kind of came naturally for everybody just to pitch in. If one of us had a dream or like, if Scott was going to build a chicken coop, everybody knew you’re going to be doing something. I mean, that’s just the way it is. Everybody’s going to be doing something, and nobody’s off doing their own thing. And really, until college, you know, my kids, we pretty much did everything together. And, you know, now they have to study alone and they have their own interests and different things like that. But we still all get together, work the garden, work the land, go to each other’s houses, you know, on Sunday. And everybody knows I’m going to be setting the table, I’m going to help make this, I’m going to chop, you know, all the fruit up. Everybody has some kind of thing that they know that they’re going to do and they pitch in. And even my new daughter-in-laws (because I have two daughter-in-laws and now a grandchild), they all, you know, (not the grandchild yet, but she will) pitch in and they do their part and it’s part of loving each other, really. And I think you teach each other, you know, like when my son ran for Congress, we were putting out signs. We all did everything that he needed us to do. We went and supported him. It’s just supporting the family. And everybody brings something to the table, and that’s just ingrained into the children.
Amy Fewell Yeah. So let’s unpackage that even more, because this is such a foreign concept to people, but it’s actually a lot of what we’re going to focus on this year at the October HOA event is cultivating a culture of home. Because when we cultivate that culture of home, it changes a nation because we’re inspiring other people to cultivate a culture of home. So let’s start with the basics. So, you know, a lot of people don’t even know… Like my generation, I wasn’t brought up in that culture. It’s just the generational divide in many cases. But we’re trying to get back to that culture here. And so I know there’s a lot of people that didn’t experience that in their homes that are now trying to cultivate that in their homes. So what would you say, just off the whim, it doesn’t have to be very organized at all, but thinking about different age ranges, how do you start getting children into this type of routine, working around the home, working in the gardens from, you know, let’s say age four up through, you know, 18. What are some typical things that you see? Let’s say, you know, 4 to 6 and then on up from there.
Stacy Lyn Harris So as far as like around the homestead, I mean, everybody… It’s kind of interesting. We had a rotating chart for… I’ll just say kitchen chores for now, but I’ll talk about the garden in just a minute. But for kitchen chores, we had a rotating chart where every week, somebody did something different. Eventually they all got together and negotiated and decided what they wanted to do, and everybody was satisfied to do whatever they, you know, landed on. And I was fine with that. As long as they can figure it out and don’t come to me about it and I don’t want to hear, you know, that I don’t want to do this, then fine. You can negotiate all you want. So they eventually found their own thing but for a while we were doing, you know, we changed up what we were doing. And then the little ones, like the four year olds, I think at four, I can’t remember if they could do everything. But, you know, they can put stuff in the dishwasher, they can unload the dishwasher, they can put stuff up. So we had somebody sweep. And I doubt I entrusted the four year old to sweep. But they could sweep, wipe the counters. You know, I had a whole list of everything that had to be done, and the kitchen was cleaned within six minutes. I mean, it was like, you know, and you just assigned people what you want. And then if they don’t like their chore, they do it until they can figure out how not to. If they can be smart enough to figure out how to talk their brother into it, then okay. So whatever. But we made it fun. And it was just that this is just what you do. And we didn’t have a lot of… I don’t remember ever anybody ever not wanting to do it and deciding they were going to pitch a fit or something. I think they had so much peer pressure among them that they were like, I’m, you know, I’m going to be tough. I’m going to do this. The thing about the garden, for instance. We did not make our children do the garden. They just all wanted to be a part of it because we’re all out there. Several of them I could tell really didn’t want to be out there and they didn’t. Even now they probably don’t. They didn’t want to sweat, you know, whatever the situation is. But we just ignored that really. And they came out there. And if they didn’t come out there, then they missed out on. It was like, you’re just going to miss out. Even cleaning the kitchen is enough peer pressure that if you’re not in there, you’re missing out because we’re talking about stuff and, you know, round the table. I think conversation is a big part of this because we talk about real issues all the time. I mean, like what’s going on in the government. We watch the news together and we’re like, “Do you think that’s for real?” You know, and we go back and forth on what do we really think happened and conspiracy. And I mean, you know, it’s just like a lot of fun and you’re really going to miss out if you’re not working with us.
Amy Fewell Yeah, that’s the truth. That is the truth. So here’s one thing that I’ve noticed and I’ve had to change about myself, is a lot of times when I start working, like when I’m cleaning or organizing something, I just have this tendency to be quiet and not say anything. You know, I’m just working. I’m that type of person who wants to work in silence, but our middle child actually is the one who has started to get me out of that because all he does is talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. And so when I realized in the beginning, when he really started talking a lot, I was just like, okay, you know, go find something to do and leave me alone. But what I realized is, as he continued to talk, I’m like, wait, this little guy knows what he’s talking about. Like, he can sit here and have a pretty good conversation with me. And so that opened up a whole new world for me because… So I didn’t grow up with a lot of siblings. I only had one sister, and she was seven years older than me, so I had a lot of time to be quiet, like, that’s what I did. I was quiet all the time.
Stacy Lyn Harris Me too. Me too.
Amy Fewell And so, you know, going into having children, it was different. And so now exactly what you said is that our oldest son, same thing for him. He’s about to turn 15. He was an only child for almost ten years before we started having more babies. And so now when things are happening and, you know, the five year old is helping clean up the kitchen or, and the baby is even helping, you know, she’s only two and she’s like, what can I do? And the 15 year old has no desire to help at all, but he wants to be in the middle of it because we’re talking, you know, we’re doing stuff, we’re having conversation. And so I think that’s so important as we are training our children and cultivating that culture of home in our family to be open, don’t shut down, don’t be silent, but to be talking and conversing all of the time with your kids because your kids are actually really smart. You know, sometimes we are like, no, don’t talk to me. I’ve got stuff to do. But the reality is that I have had more theological and governmental conversations with my five year old than I can have with most adults nowadays, you know?
Stacy Lyn Harris It’s true, it’s true. I mean, they are like super smart and they reason well and they don’t have any, like, worldly values that come in. They’re not blinded by anything. So I think they actually, you know, children a lot of times, to me, they see more. But I’m like you, I was an only child. I have a half brother and a half sister, but I didn’t grow up with them. So I was an only child and I was actually talking about it this morning. She said, “You know, you’re really an introvert.” And I am. It doesn’t appear that I’m an introvert, but I am an introvert. I really like to be quiet. I really like my own space. But I’ve learned with all of these kids that that’s not my job right now. You know, my job is to prepare them, really for war, and that I have to be on the job every day. And that is really, really a hard task. And it is hard to run a business some days. And I want everybody to know out there, and I don’t know about you, but there’s probably at least once a week, I’m like, do I need to stop this? You know, is this… What am I supposed to do?
Amy Fewell Right.
Stacy Lyn Harris And I think that that’s a pretty normal thing for an entrepreneur? You know, anyway, it does cross my mind because it’s very difficult to do all of it. But in my mind, I say it would be difficult to just do that, too. I mean, so even if I didn’t have a business, I’d be like, oh my gosh, I can’t keep up with this.
Amy Fewell Right. Yeah.
Stacy Lyn Harris Because it’s a lot.
Amy Fewell Yeah, it is a lot. And here’s the thing with business though — it’s just like with parenting, businesses go through different seasons. Parenting goes through different seasons. So one of the things that I found, and I talk about this a lot with friends, when I first started multiple different businesses, I had one child. And so having a business with one child is way easier than having a business with seven kids, or even in my case now, three kids. And so, you know, he was the only child. Most of the time he was outside. I literally built HOA with just one child. Like all the time people are asking me, “How did you build this organization?” And one, God, but two, I only had one child. I could literally sit on my computer and spend hours working efficiently, you know, while still taking care of his needs and homeschooling. And so it wasn’t until I had taken on a lot more work, we thought we weren’t going to have any more kids, we had suffered from secondary infertility for almost, you know, nine years, and I found myself pregnant. And in true transparency, when I found out I was pregnant, very unexpectedly, I looked at my husband and I went, “Oh no,” because…
Stacy Lyn Harris I think that’s a normal reaction.
Amy Fewell Yeah, but suddenly, like, I had created these businesses that took a ton of my time and I had trained our son at the time. He went everywhere with me. He went to meetings with me, he went on photo shoots with me, he did all kinds of things with me, and it was just his normal life. But now, you know, I was pregnant, I was going to have another baby, and I’m like, how am I going to do this? And so my season shifted. So I now had a newborn baby, so now my work days were from 10:00 at night to 1:00 in the morning while the baby was sleeping.And it’s the only time…
Stacy Lyn Harris Oh my goodness.
Amy Fewell I know, right? Because you need sleep?
Stacy Lyn Harris I can’t live without sleep.
Amy Fewell But, I mean, I couldn’t live without sleep either, but he was sleeping, like, 3 to 4 hours in chunks during the day to where I actually did sleep when he slept. I didn’t do the laundry when he slept, I actually did sleep when he slept. And so, you know, during that season of life…
Stacy Lyn Harris I don’t know how you did that, having the bigger baby, too.
Amy Fewell Well, yeah. So our oldest son was 10, so he was actually quite a big help at that time. And a lot of times, he went to work with his dad. Okay? So it was more like just having a new baby and not really having a lot of other kids around. So it wasn’t until our third child came where I literally could not accomplish anything. I was like, well, she’s not sleeping at all (she was sleeping like two hours a night). I’m not sleeping at all. I can’t even nap when she naps because we literally have no clothes to wear because she never naps, and I’ve got to do laundry. You know, it was kind of that crazy season of life while being an entrepreneur. And of course, I had other people working with me at that time doing different tasks and things, but you know, it’s nothing like the leader of a company doing the things that they need to do. And so I had to start implementing different things. So like, you know, block scheduling. I was not afraid to say, “Hey, Mark (my husband), could you stay home today?” So I could accomplish something. Or could I get my mom to come or, you know, have a babysitter for a couple of hours? That was the very first time in my entrepreneurial career where I actually had to bring in help, but not every day. It was just, you know, one day a week, sometimes two days a week. Like today, I have someone here watching the kids, so they’re not, you know, running through the door with their underwear on. You know, things like that. And so I have seen so many different seasons of business with children, and they have all worked so very differently. And I think that’s the key is finding where is your balance. Right? Like your balance might be you have kids that can help you and you’re able to do it, or your balance might be I’ve got to do it all at night or your balance might be, okay, I need to bring in a little bit more help, but there is a balance that you can find and it just works differently for everyone.
Stacy Lyn Harris Yes, I totally agree with that. And sometimes you may have to change what you’re doing, I mean, what you’re saying, but you may have to think of another alternative. Like if you can’t schedule to make videos all at one time, then you’ve got to figure out, well, how are you going to do that? Or maybe you don’t need professional videos, maybe you just need this kind and, you know, it’s all such a big juggling game. But I think the key in, you know, on the business side, is consistency is key. Like just show up, you know? And I think you’ll figure it out, you just have to show up to do it and not get stuck.
Amy Fewell Yeah.
Stacy Lyn Harris And that’s the same with parenting, too, you know? If something’s not working, you’re praying through it. You know, you just show up so that you don’t get stuck. And for parenting, I think if I have one simple thing to say, you know, when you’re having a homestead and having a business and all that, is to tie strings and to work hard at tying strings, because the relationships that you have with your children, that’s what’s going to keep them. That’s what’s going to guard them, protect them, and it’s not your discipline, it’s not your structure, it’s not homesteading, it’s not anything, but of course, it’s God and tying strings with your kids, it’s the relationships. So you may not have a homestead. You may go play golf every day, and you may just be free to do whatever you want to do, and if that’s the case, just find a way to tie strings with each one of the kids. And I think that’s why they want to help, you know, that’s why they want to do the hard stuff.
Amy Fewell Yeah, I think that’s very true. I think, you know, as with any relationship, right? If your husband wants you to help him with his projects and his business and grow things with him, well if he’s not giving you any kind of relationship and he’s just asking from you over and over again, you’re not going to want to help. You’re not going to want to give. You’re not going to want to do those things. And for us to think that our kids are any different and that they’ll just fall in because we say so, you know, right? Like that’s the biggest thing we hear, “Well, it’s because I said so.” Well, but why? You know, why? And so yeah, I think that’s so important. And going back to another thing that you said, you actually said, you know, “Making videos all in one day.” I think these are things that people need to know, too. Like when I had our second son, I would literally schedule days of work. At the time, I had YouTube and I was posting every day and so I would literally take that whole time block from like nine in the morning to two in the afternoon, and everyone knew what the schedule was, everyone knew what they were supposed to be doing, and I would record all the videos for the whole month. And from there, all I had to do was editing, and so I could do that any time. I could do that while the kids were eating lunch, I could do that while they were doing school, you know, there’s just multiple different times. And so at the end of the day, yes, what you just said was sometimes our businesses have to change, right? Like our first important thing in life is our family and our kids. Our first ministry is our children and our family. And so often, we, especially moms, can get frustrated when you have a business, whether it’s a homestead business or just business in general, and you know, you’re not able to put that time into your business. Well, maybe your business structure needs to change. Maybe your business organization needs to change. And at the end of the day, you know, that’s something that we all have to kind of reevaluate is how is this running? It’s not working, something has to change, you know? So that’s what I did. I did the whole block video recording. I would take a day and do all of the podcast recording in one day or, you know, various things. Then the whole rest of the week, I’m just mom. You know, I’m just mom, I’m just doing those things. And, you know, of course for people who are homesteading and doing farm businesses, that’s a little bit different. You know, every day is a work day, right? You know, you’re growing food, you’re milking cows, you’re going to farmer’s markets. But at the same time, those are a little bit more demanding of our kids. And so those are when we need to say, “Okay, am I asking too much of my kids? And what can I do to make that a little bit easier on them too?
Stacy Lyn Harris Yeah, I agree, I think that’s the hardest thing about what we’re doing is… You know, I could probably, it being in my mind, I think that I could be further along than I am, like, if I didn’t, you know, if I did this or I did that, or I did this. But the thing is, is that when your priority is your family and your children, then it isn’t God’s plan for you to be away from them all the time or to be further along and what you would have accomplished or would have done possibly, it’s all going to burn anyway. It doesn’t matter. And I think that that’s where you have to go… You may not be able to have the same ability to get somewhere as fast or even go to the same place as someone that doesn’t have a family or that doesn’t have that priority in their life. So I think you have to, you know, that’s where the rubber meets the road, and you have to go back to the drawing board and say what is important and how much do I need to accomplish? I mean it’s all for the glory of God anyway. If it’s causing your family stress or causing you so much stress or causing you sickness, then it’s probably not… Maybe there’s something that you’re doing that you shouldn’t be doing. And I think that our bodies and our families have a way of reining us in and saying, let’s reevaluate, you know? It’s time to reevaluate and, you know, change it up.
Amy Fewell Hey, thanks for listening. We’re going to take a quick break to introduce you to one of our sponsors that has been with HOA for a few years, and that’s Premier 1 Supplies. At Premier 1, they’ve been providing electric fencing and electric netting, sheep and goats supplies, clippers and shears, ear tags, poultry products, and expert advice for over 40 years. Whether it’s electric netting for your chickens or cattle or horses or poultry, or clippers and shears, and even poultry supplies such as fencing, feeders, waterers, egg handling supplies, hatchery items, they have it all. They are a one-stop shop for all things homesteading. Just like many of our sponsors. Check out Premier 1 Supplies at Premier1Supplies.com and don’t forget to check them out at the HOA event this year.
Amy Fewell So let’s go through, what are some basic tips? Like what are your basic things that being an entrepreneur, being a mom, being a homeschooler, being a homesteader, what are kind of your top tips? How are you efficient in business with doing all of the other things? And I know, that’s a loaded question, right? Because sometimes we feel really inefficient, but even if it’s just like two things, it doesn’t even have to be five things. But what do you feel makes your life easier, I guess is the better question, to be successful in business and do all the other things?
Stacy Lyn Harris Well, actually I’ve never really thought about it. I probably should have. But probably my time alone with God really. And at the same time, because, you know, I feel like that I’m his soldier and he’s the leader of the army. He’s telling me what to do. It’s also my planning time. So I always have my calendar, you know, right next to me during that time, because I’m getting to know what it is I’m supposed to be doing. I think that that has made me the most efficient, because I’m not wasting my time doing stuff that he didn’t call me to do. And I probably am actually wasting some time doing stuff that I think should be done that really probably I’m just afraid if I don’t do it that I’m going to fail. But I need to take that step. Planning is important. And actually, this is another thing that I completely believe in, and I’m going to try to implement this. I don’t feel like… I know that I don’t do this correctly, but, you know, having planning days — that would change my life radically, where if I had a day that I had that I could devote. But as we all know, when you have a garden that has to be tended to, the weeds have to be, you know, pulled, you’ve got chickens that have to be watered, you know, make sure that they’re fed, you’ve got plants around that need watering, three meals a day, people stopping by, it’s very hard to have a day. Like I’m late on my taxes right now because I can’t find two… I need two solid days because in this business, I have money coming in from all kinds of places, I’m spending money in all kinds of places, and it takes a long time to do my taxes. So, you know, maybe if I had a better system, but I’m not that person, so.
Amy Fewell Right.
Stacy Lyn Harris Anyway, but to find, you know, a day that you could plan, and then taking a day to rejuvenate. That is something that I don’t do that I know if I did, my work would be so much better. My performance would be better, my speaking ability would be better, I wouldn’t have this confused, cloudy mind. I think that that is something that I’m going to implement, and I’m going to start putting in my calendar before I ever plan anything else. It’s just the rejuvenation day. It’s to recreate myself, to play with the kids, to just play and get back, you know, my mojo because I get burned out, really burned out. And that’s dangerous because at some point when you’re super burned out, I’ve read, you know, psychologist’s books and stuff. I was actually a psychology major so I love those kind of books, but it says at a point, you’ll never be the same again. You will not be able to have that same personality that you’ve had before. And I think it’s really important for people not to burn out, you know?
Amy Fewell Yeah you do. And I’m actually getting ready to publish… By the time this comes out, it’ll be published already, but I have another podcast of my own called Homesteading for the Kingdom, and that is actually the title of, you know, Embracing Rest is the title of that podcast episode and how it is so important mentally, physically, spiritually for us to embrace at least one day a week of rest. There’s a reason, right? There’s a reason the Bible said to observe the Sabbath and find rest. And so, you know, it is important. I go into a story… My sister actually told me this story when I was preparing that podcast message, where back in the 1800s, there were these gold miners, there were multiple groups of gold miners, and they were trekking across the United States to California, to a new location. And so out of all of these groups of gold miners, there was one group, and every week, once a week, they would stop and rest from sundown on Friday to sundown on Saturday to observe the Sabbath. It was their day of rest. They just rested that whole time. They actually made it — they were the only group who did this — they actually made it to the destination 20 days before any of the other groups.
Stacy Lyn Harris No way!
Amy Fewell 20 days. Because even though they stopped every Friday through Saturday evening to rest, they were more rejuvenated, they had more energy, they were spiritually and mentally and physically rested and energized, and so 20 days before any other group made it, they made it. And so a lot of times, we can do that as moms too, right? Like there’s no rest, there’s no rest for the weary, but we actually have to be intentional in that time. So like my day of rest, generally, it’s Saturday and you know, I don’t do anything. I don’t go out to the garden, you know, unless I have to. Obviously I have to milk the cows. I don’t respond to a ton of emails. I don’t try to think, if that makes any sense. Like, I’m just being. I’m just… Okay, I might have to put dishes in the dishwasher, but I’m not cleaning and I’m just being, you know? And I have found that I’m so much more recharged when I’m doing that. Yeah, the kids are still running around acting crazy, I’m still mom, I still have to cook meals, but that’s it. That’s the bare minimum of what I’m doing that day. And so it’s made a difference in my life to just be mom. Just at least one day a week, I’m just mom. I’m not home school teacher, I’m not, you know, businesswoman, I’m not any of these things. I’m just mom, and that’s it. And so that is life changing, especially as an entrepreneur. Even if you don’t have kids, you know? Just being still and resting changes things. And, you know, planning for me is also a big one. I have a planner that like five different people can see just so they can remind me when I should be doing something, you know?
Stacy Lyn Harris Yes, yes.
Amy Fewell You know, one of the other things that really helped me was hiring a virtual assistant. And I really don’t think I could do… You know, I always tell people this whenever I’m coaching them in business, “You’re going to have to hire an assistant before you can afford an assistant.”.
Stacy Lyn Harris Yes, that’s true.
Amy Fewell And if you want to continue growing the business, you’re going to have to take a pay cut. You’re going to have to hire an assistant, and then, more work, when it starts getting done, then you can give yourself a pay raise, you know? And it grows from there. And so one of the most powerful things that our growth in business has seen has come from hiring virtual assistants or even local assistants that can do the grunt stuff, right? Like responding to the emails that you don’t have to respond to or keeping track of your schedule or, you know, planning events. Like this whole podcast is planned by our amazing podcast company that we’ve hired. They send out the emails, they invite people, they schedule everything. And all I have to do is hop on here and just talk to Stacy and that’s all I have to do, you know?
Stacy Lyn Harris That would be so great. And I’ve hired people like, I don’t like to edit, so I hire editors for any of my video work. But then I’m like, should I be doing that? But then it’s like, I’m not going to be good at it. I don’t want to do it. But then it’s the expense of it. And I’m like, do I… It’s really hard to decide, okay, I’m going to pay somebody to do this because, you know, you’re taking money out of your own pocket book. And then I have a hard time knowing what can I, you know, what can I give to somebody else to do? You know, because emails, it won’t be you, you know? So it’s like, how do you do that?
Amy Fewell Yeah. And I guess it really depends on the business too, you know? For different businesses, obviously it doesn’t make sense. But see, I had a hard time with that with my wellness company that I have. So I have, you know, a wellness company that’s attached to our farm where it’s herbalism and gut health and all these things. And so I’m like, you know what? When people… This just happened recently. So this was just like a mind blown revelation for me. All of my correspondence with people was normally through email or messenger and it took time. Typing out stuff takes a lot of time but being stuck in that, I was like, you know, I don’t know how I could give this over to somebody because it’s me. Like, I’m the doctor, essentially. You know, I’m the herbalist who’s giving this information to people. But I reached a point where I’m like, you know, if I don’t hand something over or change the way the business is run, the business is going to flop because I just have so many people that need help. And so, you know, I was praying about it and I realized, why am I talking to people through messenger and email all the time? I could actually hand off the email portion to an assistant who can, you know, schedule them for a ten minute Zoom chat and it takes less of my time then trying to schedule this all out in an email. And so that’s what I ended up doing. It’s looking at your businesses and saying, okay, if I’ve reached a point where I feel like I can’t hand anything over to anybody, then maybe I need to reevaluate my business. You know, maybe I need to figure out a different way of doing it so someone can help me and take a burden off of me. How do I make my life easier? For me, for that particular business, it was doing all of my consultations through a quick Zoom, which requires me to either put a hat on or actually look presentable, versus spending hours typing out an email, reading it a thousand times, getting distracted, going back to that email. And so there’s just different things for different businesses that you can do. And so now that assistant is actually scheduling appointments and doing follow-ups, you know, checking in on the person. And then if they feel like, you know, that there’s something I need to see, they’re like, “Hey, go look at this in the notes.” And so it’s literally like having me 2.0 where my attention is only focused on what do I need to know, and then someone else is taking care of the stuff I don’t necessarily need to know. And so it’s a process, right? No one prepares you for this as an entrepreneur. These are all things that we have had to learn on our own. And it’s like we could probably write books, Stacy. Right? Like we could just write books and books and books about these things.
Stacy Lyn Harris Yeah, we really could. We really could. And people want to know all of this. Like, you know, I think they want to know, well, what does a virtual assistant do? And I know that they can do like a million different things. And so having a whole lot of people say, “Well, my virtual assistant does this,” “Mine does this.” And then, you know, a light bulb would go off in people’s head and go, oh, I need that. You know, that’s what I need. But yeah, I feel like I need an assistant with me, like all day, every day. And you would think, oh, well, that could be your kids. But no. And people will say that. Well, but my kids are getting bigger and they have their own. As I raised them to have their own thing, you know, and we’ve got very different children and, you know, each of them… I’ve got an MBA student that she writes grants and she likes the writing part of it all, though she’s amazing at Photoshop and graphics and stuff. Each of them had their own thing. I’ve got two in engineering and it’s like, they’ve got to study. They can’t be following me around. You know, somebody maybe that wants to be in this kind of world could follow me around and we could do something and they could just take a quick shot and I probably need somebody like that. But do I really want that? I guess that’s the question, because then you have to really ask yourself, are you really going to like that?
Amy Fewell Right.
Stacy Lyn Harris And is that really going to be what you want your business to be? So, you know, but it’s always questioning your business and how is it going to fit the priorities of your life as a mother and a wife? And that’s the other thing not to forget. And that’s probably, if I had to say three things, you know, it was that planning and taking the days and planning and rejuvenation. And then the third one I would say is if you have a husband, to ask your husband because they’re second in command after God, and they’re going to know things and they’re going to be able to guide you in a way… Even if they’re not even a believer, they can… mine is thankfully, but they can guide you and really take in stock in what they say. I think that would be an important thing.
Amy Fewell You know, men have this intuition about them where… I’m sure that your husband’s like this and my husband knows me very well.
Stacy Lyn Harris Yes.
Amy Fewell And so obviously his first thing is to protect. Is this going to be protective for you? Are our children protected in this? Whatever the decision is. Or is more time, you know, you might be putting more time into something, but it’s really going to stress you out if you do this, you know? And so a lot of times husbands look at it from the well-being, complete well-being of the family and of the wife and of the husband. Of course, this is general. Obviously there are husbands that abuse that in marriages and stuff. We’re not talking about that. You know, like my husband is always… I will ask him, “What do you think?” And most of the time he’s like, “I really don’t care. You know, you just make your decision. Whatever you want to do.” But there are times when he’s like, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” And those are the times when I listen or I’ll be stuck, you know, I’ll be stuck in something. Like, don’t ever forget that if you’re married, your spouse is literally your first business partner. I think so many people like to exclude their spouse. They’re like, this is my thing, you know, I want to do this, but it’s so much easier, even if they’re not your business partner on paper, to just run stuff through them. Because so often, our minds are thinking about 10 million other things, especially if we are homemakers and homesteaders, that sometimes they can just say something because they’re on the outside looking in, right? They’re seeing everything that’s going on regularly, and they’ll just say one thing and it could be the simplest thing, and you’ll just be like, “Oh, why didn’t I think of that? You know, “Why? Why didn’t I think of that?”
Stacy Lyn Harris I had that happen. I went out to the garden, I sat down and I just said, “I’m just, like, completely overwhelmed. I just can’t do all this.” This was a couple of years ago, and I said, “I need a schedule, you know, like a schedule that every day it looks like this,” or something. And he was like, “Your days are never going to look the same ever.” And it was just like revolutionary, you know? And he was like, “Don’t even really try to make them look the same because it’s not going to look the same and all you’re going to do is be frustrated.” And I was like, “I guess so.” I mean, you know? It’s like, how can I not think of that? That’s just common sense with my world.
Amy Fewell Yeah. And the thing is to be okay with that, right? Like, I think so many people want their day to be routine and perfect. And yes, there’s something to be said about routines. You know, getting up, making your bed, brushing your teeth, making breakfast, doing, you know, yeah, I’m not talking about those kinds of routines. But wanting your whole day to be routined and the reality is that the culture of home is that nothing…
Stacy Lyn Harris It is not routine.
Amy Fewell Yeah, It’s not. And so, you know, yes, you can schedule. You should try to schedule things to some degree, but giving yourself and your family grace, that it’s probably not going to look like this, or I’m probably not going to get done all the things I wanted to get done. And that’s okay, because tomorrow’s another day and we can do it over again. You know, when I make a list during the day, I highlight the top three things that I have to get done today. What are the three things I have to do? And as long as those three things get done, everything else is bonus.
Stacy Lyn Harris That’s right. That is really great. I do that too and I have kind of forgotten about that. I need to go back and do that. But when you were saying just now that every day may not look the same, you can plan, but it may not look the same, it’s the same thing as parenting, like there’s no pat answer. People might ask you and I would have an answer, probably that I would do if somebody came up and said, “What would you do about this or that?” But the thing is, is God doesn’t want us to have pat answers. He doesn’t want our schedules to work out all the time, because we’re not going to be dependent on him. And we have to remember that it’s him and that each, you know, like for me, each child is different, each business is different, each day is different. And you’re going to have to run it differently. If you try to just keep doing that same thing over and over, you’re just going to be a hamster on a wheel, no relationships, it’s just going to all fall apart. And I think that that’s a really important thing to know. You know, that just because something works for somebody else doesn’t mean it’s going to work for you. And it’s really between you and Lord — raising kids, business, all your decisions, you know, it just really is.
Amy Fewell Yeah I agree. You know, we live in a world where you, especially moms, are inundated when you get on social media with, you know, buy this digital planner, do this digital plan thing. You know, all of these things. Like, let’s add all of these planner things to our life and think that it’s going to keep us organized, but we forget that we actually have to fill out those planners, you know? And half of us don’t even get to that point.
Stacy Lyn Harris Yes, and then life happens.
Amy Fewell Right. And then life happens and then we have to change it. And so at the end of the day, I think the biggest thing is to just give ourselves grace, give our kids grace and mercy, because yes, just like homeschool, you’re going to have days where you just don’t teach anything, you know? It’s just a free for all day because the kids are just acting up and they need something different. They need some kind of different stimulation. And so business with kids and business on the homestead is exactly the same. And at the end of the day, it will all get done. It just might not get done the way that you wanted it to, in the way that you wanted it to, in the timeframe that you wanted it to.
Stacy Lyn Harris That is so true. That is true.
Amy Fewell Yeah. All right, well, I’ve kept you for almost an hour. Is there anything else that you would like to say to mamas and parents and entrepreneurs about anything about what we’ve been talking about?
Stacy Lyn Harris I do have one more thing because we were talking about… I think, 15 minutes. I don’t know why this just popped into my head, but I have a blog post about this. But we used to do what I call a 15 minute rule. And it was like for every hour that you’re spending on hard stuff. So like, say that you are all in the garden, which we would never be out there an hour, especially with a four year old or anything, but you know, if you’re out there for an hour or you’re working, cleaning the house, doing whatever, take 15 minutes to go outside and play or play with baby dolls. You know, it depends on where your children are, you know, in life. Or just say, “Hey, let’s meet back up in 15 minutes, go do whatever, you know, and come back.” And I think that that really kept our family sane, you know, a lot of times when there were really, really big workdays. Or say, like we were shooting for a show and everybody was going to be coming, and there’s like deep cleaning that has to be done for that. And, you know, and all that, just like 15 minutes as kind of like a reward system. And then, you know, of course we paid our kids, and so that helped, at least for those kinds of things, you know, or some offer of, “Hey, we’ll go swimming,” you know, whatever. So I think that having something like that to look forward to. And several of my kids and my husband is a big look-forward-to type person. They need something in their life to look forward to and that will go a long way.
Amy Fewell Yeah, I absolutely agree. Awesome. All right Stacy, well, thank you for joining me, once again, for this week’s podcast. I’ve really enjoyed having you. You guys, if you have any questions, you can always ask on the YouTube video or the podcast. Any notes that we need to make about the podcast will be in the notes section on YouTube and on the podcast streaming platforms. As always, don’t forget to subscribe. Subscribe to Stacy. She’s got all kinds of stuff going on, lots of fun books, an amazing social media account, so make sure you follow her at all those places. We’ll link below. And until next time, thanks for joining us and happy homesteading.
Amy Fewell Hey, thanks for taking the time to listen to this week’s Homesteaders of America episode. We really enjoyed having you here. We welcome questions and you can find the transcript and all the show notes below or on our Homesteaders of America blog post that we have up for this podcast episode. Don’t forget to join us online with a membership or just to read blog posts and find out more information about our events at HomesteadersofAmerica.com. We also have a YouTube channel and follow us on all of our social media accounts to find out more about homesteading during this time in American history. All right, have a great day and happy homesteading.
